Book: He's Just Not That Into You
I've never talked about a book on this blog, but today I was reminded of how much this book changed my life. Let's be honest - this definitely isn't my all-time feel good book. In fact, it can be quite depressing for a girl still looking for love. I will however say this - He's Just Not That Into You (by Greg Behrendt & Liz Tuccilo) saved me a lot of time from being in relationships that just weren't right or satisfying.
I've had relationships that lasted a lot longer then they should have. Why? Because I justified every poor behaviour with an excuse. Excuses that included:
- He's just not ready to be in a relationship
- He doesn't want to ruin a friendship
- He's going to change - this will be the last time
- He's going through a lot in his personal life
- He probably lost my number
- He must be super busy at work
- He just needs me to show him how much I care first
- He's been hurt before
Written by a man who's had his fair share of giving excuses, this book is an eye-opener - because men really aren't as complicated as we make them out to be. If they're not calling, dating, marrying, and being ultimately loyal and kind to you... it really means one thing - uh-huh, you got it, he's just not that into you. Sure, he might like you, maybe he even loves you - but realize that when your basic needs aren't met and he's aware of that, he doesn't love you enough to make it better.
Although I've come to realize that there are plenty of men out there who just aren't that into me, I know that I deserve someone who is. Many times throughout the book, the authors remind us that we shouldn't "waste the pretty" (yes, pretty - that's you). Today, instead of waiting around for Mr. Wrong to turn into Mr. Right, let's not waste any more time and take happiness into our own hands.
I've had relationships that lasted a lot longer then they should have. Why? Because I justified every poor behaviour with an excuse. Excuses that included:
I agree with you on this book. This is my all time favorite book! If I would have read this sooner, it would have saved me a lot of heartache. A few years ago, I was in a bad relationship with this guy who treated me as disposable and come to find out after, had been seeing his ex for the 2.5 years we were together. He would disappear for days and we never hung out on weekends. For some odd reason, it didn't feel quite right and I went to Barnes n Noble to pick up some relationship books. I picked this one up and read one line of the chapter about calling. I somehow convinced myself, "oh, he calls me, it doesn't apply to me" (even though he called on his terms and on random days) and so I put the book down. Should I have continued reading further, it would have saved me over a year of heartache, frustration, and pain because this book described my ex to the "T". 3 months after he dumped me, he got ENGAGED to his ex, which further strengthened my suspicion that he was never over his ex at all. They are now married. This experience was highly traumatic for me since he did such a good job lying to me. I even created an entire blog on blogspot describing this experience. In retrospect, the signs were all there I just either failed to see them or failed to acknowledge them. I highly recommend this book to any girl ever feeling like something isn't "right"- and only if they have an open mind and willingness to see the truth. In the meantime, I hope you have found your Mr. Right! :)
ReplyDeleteI'm glad the book helped you as much as it did me. You aren't alone when you say that you failed to see the signs. We are all guilty of that at some point in our lives. What's most important now is that you aren't wasting any more time on someone who isn't worthy.
DeleteI wish you all the best and that you too, will find your Mr. Right. Whoever he is - he'll be one hell of a lucky guy to have you :)